“Winning friends” was a phrase popularized by Dale Carnegie, and it’s one that bothers me. It sounds self-serving. Friendships aren’t won; they’re made, organically and honestly.
But it wasn’t until I started reading Carnegie’s secrets in How to Win Friends and Influence People that I finally let my guard down. Here are a few of his methods:
- Show genuine interest in someone else.
- Remember people’s names.
- Sincerely make someone feel important.
Honesty and sincerity?! Man, what a jerk… 😉
Do you want to know the secret to getting influential people to do stuff for you?
Put the idea of “getting influential people to do stuff for me” completely out of your mind. Instead, try to help people. Slay the dragon of insecurity and make bold, but humble, asks:
- Invite someone to breakfast or coffee.
- Ask for a few minutes to chat on the phone.
- Listen, smile, and thank them.
That’s what I do; that’s all I do. In other words: make a friend. The real secret to winning friends and influencing people is anyone can do it. You just have to ask.
Akin is the author of the book "THE INTERNET: a town square for the global village.
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